


Untried Ordeal

by Ningikuga



Category: Atop the Fourth Wall, The Spoony Experiment
Genre: BDSM, M/M, Other, Spanking, Very Literal Hurt-Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:16:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ningikuga/pseuds/Ningikuga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoony tries to expiate his floating sense of guilt by asking Linkara to administer an appropriate punishment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untried Ordeal

**Author's Note:**

> For [this prompt](http://tgwtg-meme.livejournal.com/1329.html?thread=743473#t743473). In addition to what is mentioned in the tags, let me point out that generally speaking, it is not a good idea to have your regular partner be your Top for this sort of psychological (or spiritual, depending on your perspective) work, and therefore this might also be Unsafe BDSM, depending on your perspective. On the other hand, it's Linkara, so he might have Heroic Immunity to the kinds of things that crop up in the aftermath of ordeal work. YMMV so DTTAH, is what I'm saying here.
> 
> Even more than usual, this work is intended to depict the characters/personae, not real people, and absolutely no implications about the people who write and play those characters are intended or should be inferred.

Spoony looked up from the greenish glow of his computer screen at the sound of the teleporter. “Hey,” he said dully; the smile he gave Linkara barely reached the corners of his mouth, much less his eyes. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“No problem,” Linkara replied, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up. “Wow, it’s even warmer here than it is back home.”

“Sure is,” Spoony agreed. “The A/C is on about as high as it can go.”

Linkara winced in sympathy. “Hopefully it’ll get cooler now that the sun’s down. Anyway, what’s up?”

Spoony trailed a finger through the accumulated dust and gunk on the top edge of the keyboard. “I’ve kind of been having a tough time,” he admitted. “It hasn’t exactly been a good year for me, you know?”

“I’m aware,” Linkara sighed, sitting down in the armchair across from Spoony’s computer desk. “I’ve tried to offer to help when I can, but you’ve kind of been a little closed off lately.”

“Yeah.” Spoony rubbed his fingers together; the gunk rolled into a slightly sticky ovoid. “Have you been paying attention to Twitter lately?”

Linkara’s nose wrinkled. “When I can, but that hasn’t been all that often,” he admitted. “I’ve been traveling a lot in the past couple of months; we’ve been chasing possible Vyce sightings all across the Northeast and Midwest.”

“I know, I know you’re busy,” Spoony said, flicking away the gob of goo. “I just - I haven’t been feeling great, and I realized how often I end up taking that out on other people online, which has made me feel even worse.”

“Really?” Linkara sounded genuinely surprised. “I mean, I’ve seen you tear into a few people, but usually only ones who were trolling you first.”

“That’s how it’s gone lately, yeah,” Spoony agreed, twisting around in his chair to face Linkara instead of the screen. “But not always. And it’s still wrong, isn’t it?”

Linkara shook his head, although uncertainty danced around his eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with fighting back once you’re attacked,” he said, sounding more sure than he looked.

“But there’s something wrong with baiting someone into attacking you in the first place, isn’t there?” Spoony asked, tugging uncomfortably at the hem of his t-shirt. “And I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing that, and I think I know why. And I need to stop.” He looked Linkara in the eyes. “Will you help me?”

“Of course,” Linkara blurted. “What do you want me to do?”

Spoony took a deep, ragged breath. “I think I’m doing it because I want to be punished,” he said. “I know it’s a shitty idea, and then I do it anyway, so that someone will bitch me out and hurt my feelings, which makes me feel less guilty about the times I’ve lashed out first. Then it wears off, and I do it again, and it’s a fucking vicious cycle of guilt and then anger mixed with relief and then guilt again.” He held Linkara’s gaze. “You’ve always been the virtuous one,” he stated. “I never wanted to be a hero, exactly, but you did. I want you to punish me. Like, physically, instead of calling me a fuckhead like the trolls do. Maybe - maybe then I won’t feel like I have slime on the bottom of my soul.”

Linkara did not quite physically recoil. “Like - punished how?” he asked, his voice rising. “I mean, I don’t think you deserve to be hurt; I’m not sure I can do that.”

“You already said you would,” Spoony pointed out with a sardonic smirk.

“Dammit, you’re right, I did,” Linkara groaned. “Okay, what do you want me to do? If you say something really squinky like shooting you, even if it’s on stun, though -”

“Nothing that serious,” Spoony promised. “I, um, I was thinking more like tying my feet together so I can’t cut and run, then slapping me around and then spanking me.”

Linkara gaped at him, mouth wide, making faces like a fish, before he found his voice. “You’re serious,” he said in wonder.

“As a heart attack,” Spoony agreed.

A long silence floated around the uncomfortably warm room. Finally, Linkara nodded. “Okay, I’ll do it,” he stated. “But I have two conditions, because we’re basically doing a ritual here, even if there technically isn’t any magic involved.”

Spoony looked taken aback, then conceded, “Yeah, actually, when you put it that way, it does sound kind of Catholic. What are they?”

“Technically, a penance ordeal isn’t specific to any religious tradition either,” Linkara noted. “But anyway, first, you have to be naked and I have to be fully clothed. No trying to take my clothes off in the middle, even if you get turned on.”

“Sounds legit,” Spoony agreed. “And the second?”

“No sex,” Linkara stated flatly. “Not during the ordeal, and not afterwards either, at least until we’ve both had time to cool down. I don’t want the energy getting muddled.”

“That’s going to be harder for me,” Spoony said, tracing the grain of his jeans with a finger. “But I think I agree; if I’m thinking I’m going to get laid as a reward for going through this, it kind of defeats the point. Okay.”

“Right.” Linkara slapped his thighs and stood up. “Ropes in the usual place?”

“Unless Insano moved them,” Spoony answered.

Linkara headed towards the door. “Go ahead and strip while I find them,” he ordered. “Then wait for me right there if I’m not back yet.”

Spoony waited until the door closed, then peeled off his t-shirt. The back was all sweaty, anyway; he was glad to have it off. Taking off his jeans, on the other hand, felt as if he was forsaking his armor, losing his protection somehow. As he stripped off his briefs, he suddenly felt very vulnerable, almost exposed, despite the closed blinds.

He stood there like that, naked and unsure of himself, for several long minutes. Linkara wasn’t in any hurry, he guessed. Probably working on setting the mood.

Sure enough, when the door did open again, Linkara’s posture was different. He stood straighter, moved more deliberately, and was holding his hat in one hand. Pointing at the comfy chair, he ordered, “Sit down and hold out your legs.”

Spoony complied, doing his best to hold his feet straight out as Linkara hobbled him. The knots caught at his leg hair; he resisted the urge to fidget, to loosen them.

Linkara stood back up. “I don’t think I need to tie your hands,” he said, gazing steadily at Spoony’s face. “You can control your hands yourself, can’t you, Spoony?”

“Yes, I can, master,” Spoony said. Linkara’s eyebrows only twitched, now, instead of jumping when he called him ‘master,‘ but Spoony still noticed it, every time, and it still made him want to giggle inappropriately. He resisted the urge; he wanted to be punished for the right thing, after all.

Linkara rose, then helped Spoony get to his feet, positioning him carefully in front of the chair. Very deliberately, he set the hat aside and adjusted his glasses before returning his even gaze to Spoony’s face. Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths; Spoony wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to do the same, but it couldn’t hurt, so he did, trying to inhale and exhale in unison with him.

When Linkara opened his eyes, they seemed to be a brighter blue than before, somehow. Maybe it was a trick of the dim light in the room, but they flashed as he addressed Spoony in his deepest register: “O Spoony One, you stand before me, convicted by yourself of cruel words and unprovoked malice. Are these charges true?”

Swallowing, Spoony nodded. “Yes, they are,” he said in a cracking voice.

“State the punishment you believe you deserve,” Linkara intoned, holding his right hand out flat and empty.

Spoony raised his right hand, not sure whether he should hold it up as if he were swearing an oath or put his hand in Linkara’s. “I deserve to be slapped like a bitch and spanked like a brat,” he said; immediately, his head swam, as if just speaking the words had made him dizzy.

“Then I shall be the instrument of your punishment,” Linkara pronounced. “Be still, and be silent.”

Spoony tried not to squeeze his eyes shut as Linkara turned away for a moment. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see the hand approaching, but it seemed like cheating.

Linkara whirled around and smacked him backhanded across the right cheek; Spoony half-rolled with with blow without thinking. It still stung.

“I believe I told you to be still,” Linkara muttered, taking a step closer.

Spoony nodded, and forced himself not to flinch at the second slap, open-handed across the left cheek. This one brought tears to his eyes; he could feel his cheeks reddening. It was no more than he deserved, though.

He wasn’t expecting the third slap, open-handed on the other side. He did manage not to cry out, although it was difficult.

Linkara nodded slowly. “I think you’ve learned that lesson,” he said, still keeping his voice stern. Slowly, he unbuckled his belt and slid it from his trouser loops with a soft shushing sound. “Now, are you ready for the second part of your punishment?”

Spoony nodded again, his face burning red with shame as much as the blows. He’d deserved this for ages. He couldn’t imagine how anyone could bear to touch him like this, awful as he was; that someone as good-hearted as Linkara could, even to bring him justice, was unimaginable.

“Turn around,” Linkara ordered, “and put your arms against the bookshelf to keep yourself steady. You can lean on it if you need to.”

Spoony turned and braced himself for the next phase. For a moment, the room was quiet, then he heard the sharp whistle of leather through the air.

_Crack._ The belt snapped across his ass like a line of fire; it was all Spoony could do not to jump. The first tear slipped down his nose as his legs trembled.

_Snap. Whap._ The next two blows were both against the backs of his thighs; somehow that was more tolerable, although the pain still seared white-hot through his sinews.

His arms shook as the belt continued its peculiar song of whistle and pop, never falling in the same place twice in a row. Tears continued to leak out from under his eyelids as he ground his teeth, trying to take his licks like a man and mostly failing.

After what felt like an hour of this, the belt fell from Linkara’s hand. “Turn around,” he ordered again, his voice slightly shaky, as if he were winded.

Spoony turned around again and was shocked to see tear marks on Linkara’s face as well. Not as many, to be sure, but they were there, shining in the dim light like his eyes. There was no trace of sadness or mercy on Linkara’s features, though, as he asked, “Are you ready for the third part of your punishement?”

“I am,” Spoony gasped, his voice breaking. Immediately, he flinched; he wasn’t supposed to talk, was he?

Linkara tugged the armchair closer to him and sat down carefully, angling his knees outward. “Bend down,” he commanded, gesturing for Spoony to come to him.

Spoony bent himself over Linkara’s knees, ass in the air. He’d’ve been blushing even if all the blood hadn’t immediately rushed to his head in this position.

Linkara’s bare hand came down on his buttocks. If he hadn’t taken the belt first, it wouldn’t have been half bad; as it was, Spoony could feel himself getting half erect despite the wave of pain. 

“One,” Linkara counted.

Each blow jarred something loose in Spoony’s brain. Goading someone into taking him on online; goading someone into taking on someone else, someone who didn’t deserve it; not stopping Insano before he committed some minor atrocity. Memory after memory flashed through his mind as he cried, sobbing like a child as Linkara counted each blow.

“Twelve,” Linkara’s voice chanted above him. “Thirteen.”

“I’m sorry,” Spoony wailed back. “I’m so sorry! I’ll never do it again!”

It hurt, it stung, it was too much to bear; it felt like bands of barbed wire around his heart were snapping; it felt like the dirt on his soul was being scrubbed off with a stiff wire brush. He howled like a baby and tried not to squirm against Linkara’s lap.

“Twenty,” Linkara pronounced. “Twenty-one.” He laid his hand, hot from its exertions, gently against Spoony’s back. “By three, and three times three, and three times seven, you have paid for your trespasses. I pronounce your sentence fulfilled.”

“Oh, thank god,” Spoony gulped between ragged sobs. He tried to push himself up to his feet and only managed to flop around like a rag doll.

“Here,” Linkara whispered in a much gentler voice, and hauled Spoony up until he was sitting in his lap. “Let me get your ankles free.”

“They’re fine,” Spoony protested, but Linkara pulled the quick-release knot and unwrapped his legs anyway. He kicked them carefully as Linkara tossed the rope aside and wrapped his arms around Spoony’s chest.

“You don’t have anything to feel guilty about,” Linkara whispered in his ear.

“I know,” Spoony murmured back, shifting around so his stinging butt was between Linkara’s legs and the arm of the chair. “It’s not always rational of me, but some days I just kind of hate myself.”

“Do you feel any better?” Linkara asked, rubbing Spoony’s back in small circles.

“Yeah,” Spoony sighed, leaning into Linkara and letting himself relax. “I do.”

Linkara continued to massage him. “I know you screw up sometimes,” he said gently. “We all do. But deep down, I know you’re a good person, a good soul.” He kissed Spoony’s jawline softly and added, “Sometimes I can see your aura, you know.”

“I was kind of wondering if you were doing that earlier,” Spoony replied. “You looked . . . I don’t know. Different.”

“Did I?” Linkara’s eyebrows went up. “Mostly I was trying to get myself into the right frame of mind.”

Spoony raised a hand to Linkara’s face and traced one of the half-dried tear tracks. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how hard this would be for you.”

Linkara let out a half-laugh. “I think of ordeals as things I have to go through,” he admitted, “not things I put other people through. It’s really different.” He hugged Spoony tighter. “I wasn’t sure I could, honestly. I hope it worked.”

“I think so,” Spoony assured him. “I feel a lot better now.”

“Well, good.” Linkara kissed him again, slow and gentle. “I love you, you know. Even when you’re being a bit of an asshole, I love you.”

“Love you too,” Spoony answered. It was hard, saying that, even though it was true, had been true for a very long time. He buried his head in the crook of Linkara’s neck and breathed slowly, just inhaling the scent of him.

“Hmm,” Linkara sighed, stroking the back of Spoony’s neck. “Thanks for trusting me to be able to do that for you.”

“No one else,” Spoony replied instantly. “I can’t think of anyone, ever, that I’d trust to do that other than you.” He paused, one hand trailing across Linkara’s chest through his shirt. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Linkara crooned into his ear. “Just remember, that’s all over now. You’re forgiven. You get to start over.”

“That sounds nice,” Spoony murmured. “Also, that took a lot more out of me than I expected. How about a nap?”

“We probably ought to get some water and something small to eat in you,” Linkara replied. “But sure, nap first, if you want.”

Spoony struggled to his feet. “I figure that’ll be enough of a reset button for sex to be okay, right?”

Linkara chuckled lightly. “If you’re up for it, yeah.”

“Pretty sure I will be.” Spoony grabbed his jeans and shoved them on without bothering with his briefs. “Don’t forget your hat.”

“I wouldn’t,” Linkara replied, following Spoony to his bedroom with the broadest of grins.


End file.
